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“There’s a naked man at my front door!”

Angel loves to sleep at the foot of Alyson's bed. Usually she's on top of the covers.

Angel loves to sleep at the foot of Alyson’s bed. Usually she’s on top of the covers.

By Alyson Hoge

About 11 p.m. Sunday, I was getting ready for bed when my sleeping husband David was roused by knocking at the front door.

Huh? Our house is 500 feet from the road. At the end of our driveway, we have a gate that is locked at night. Our first thought was that a neighbor was knocking at the front door. I checked my phone; no messages or missed calls.

David went to take a peek at who was knocking on the front porch. He quickly returned to where I was and told me to get dressed. Then he called 911: “There’s a naked man at our front door!”

The dispatcher stayed on the phone with us until the deputies arrived. The man surrendered without a struggle — thank heaven for that. He was placed in the nice warm police car and taken to the nice warm jail. We haven’t heard what else happened to him.

Before the police arrived, the man knocked on the front door for about 15-20 minutes, then he stopped and looked toward the street. He gestured as if to say, “What am I going to do now?”

We could see what he was doing because David had turned on the porch lights, but the naked man couldn’t see us because we turned off all inside lights.

As a Southerner, your first instinct is to open the door and offer assistance. Then your survival instinct kicks in. You have no idea what the state of mind is of this stranger, or how strong he can be if provoked.

David armed himself with a bat. I pulled out my military knife. We talked in whispers.

Not Angel. Don’t be fooled by the picture above. She was on full alert, going from window to window, barking and growling.

Jesse, our other dog, alternated between going to the window (and growling a little) and sticking with us. I looked at him at one point and said, “Are you here to protect us or are we supposed to protect you?”

I think Jesse would have bitten the man if he’d had the chance. Jesse would have at least licked him to death.

The cats were nowhere to be seen. I’m sure they were planning their strategy should the first lines of defense fail.

We praised Angel once the ordeal was over. She proved she is our guardian angel.

P.S. Why was this stranger naked on our front porch? We aren’t the only ones wondering that. Acquaintances of the man were searching for him at the same time the deputies rolled up. One of the deputies told us the acquaintances said the man was at their house and he left when no one was looking. Concerned, they got in a car and went looking for him. Alas, they found him after the deputies did.

Jesse has perfected his goofy look. He believes in using humor to disarm strangers.

Jesse has perfected his goofy look. He believes in using humor to disarm strangers.

One Response to '“There’s a naked man at my front door!”'

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  1. Guess a photo of the stray at your door wasn’t suitable for a family website. Angel’s comfy position in bed reminds me of our small mixed-breed, Shadow aka Shady Lady.

    Debra Hale

    12 Mar 13 at 11:07 am

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